Sign of the Apocalypse?

Well, I never thought I'd say this, but Pat Hruby had a great article today on Page Dos. And he managed to keep his most obnoxious, non-sports-related opionions to himself. Truly worthy of note.

But in addition to noting that Hruby wrote an article that didn't suck, I'd like to weigh in on the discussion. The article was on the lamest rules in sports. Great concept, first of all. Hruby then proceeded to make proposals for several rules modifications that would make various sports better. As in, more entertaining.

Some of the suggestions are quite good. Some of them are not. I suspect many of the ones that were not were just included for entertainment value. Which is fine, so maybe I'm taking this too seriously, but I'm actually thinking, if we can just narrow it down to the serious ones, then maybe we can really get these rules in. I know, I'm crazy.

So here's a list of the rules that Hruby proposes (you'll have to see the original article for better explanations) together with my personal verdict on each.

- No Offsides in Soccer: Somewhat agreed, although really this is too radical a change.

- No Intentional Walks in Baseball: No, no, no. It is unenforceable. Although maybe we could do something about walks in general. A player walks twice, he gets second base. That sort of thing.

- No Judges in Boxing--Fight to the Finish: Agreed.

- Only One Full Time-Out in the Last Two Minutes in NBA Games: Agreed. Except, why stop there? How about one 20-second timeout? Or no timeouts at all? Soccer gets by without timeouts. How about we televise commercials only during free throws? Just tell us how many he made when we get back, or else show it in a tiny corner on the screen. I would rather watch commercials than free throws anyway. Sometimes I think I would rather pass a gallstone than watch another free throw.

- Eliminate Amateurism in College Sports: No! This is ridiculous.

- Make the NBA Floor Bigger and Rim Higher: This is interesting. I think it's worth a pilot program. Probably wouldn't fly, though.

- No Second Serves in Tennis: My first impulse was to disagree. But I think I've come around. This would slow serves down, and maybe we'd get more rallies.

- NBA: no airborne timeouts: Of course. A no-brainer. Of course, in my world, there wouldn't be timeouts anyway.

- NBA: No two consecutive timeouts: See above.

- NBA: Don't require players to tuck in shirts: Disagree. Keep some semblance of classiness in the league.

- NBA: Technical fouls should count as personal fouls: Agreed.

- NBA: Track own goals: Sure. Whatever.

- Ground Can Cause Fumble in Football: Agreed. Though I'm not as passionate about this as some.

- Allow Arguing of Balls and Strikes: Agreed.

- Make Golf's Stroke-and-Distance Rule More Charitable: Disagree. Most of the rest of Hruby's rules argue for making sports more manly. This argues for making it more wimpy. Makes no sense.

- No Technical on Calling Time-Outs When You're Out of 'Em: Agreed. Just don't give them the time-out!

- Drug Test League Execs: Huh?

- No Interference in Hockey: I would comment on this if I cared about hockey.

- Only Warn One Dugout in Baseball: Agreed.

- Official Game Clock Posted in Soccer: Disagree.

- Allow In-Match Coaching in Tennis: Hmm. Undecided. Tend to disagree.

- Allow Golf Crowds to Make Noise: Disagree. Hruby doesn't seem to realize that golf is different from other sports.

- Baseball's On-Deck Circle--Use it or lose it: Are there actually people who care about this?

- Allow 3 steps/Palming in NBA: Disagree. He just wanted an excuse to bag on Allen Iverson, which is understandable.

- Baseball Managers Don't Wear Uniforms: I tend to agree. But I just can't imagine Tommy Lasorda in anything other than a Dodgers uniform.

- Overtime Stat Keeping in College Football: Agree agree agree! I can't believe we're even writing about this!

- No Sudden-Death Overtime in the NFL: Agreed.

- Allow Contact on the Basepaths in Baseball: Disagree.

- College Basketball's 3-point Line Too Close: Agree Agree AGREE!!!! This may be my biggest peeve in sports.

- Allow Cornerbacks to push receivers out of bounds for an incomplete pass: Agreed. This is a great idea.

- Allow Hitting Below Belt in Boxing: This is too ridiculous to even consider.

- No Helmet Earpiece for QB: Agreed.

- No Alternate Possession Arrow: Agreed.

- No One-Day Contract: Agreed.

- No Signing Your Scorecard in Golf: Agreed.

Total: I agree with 17 out of the 35, and am undecided/have no opinion on 5. Considering how radical some of these suggestions are, I'd say that's a pretty high level of accordance.